Starting Anew

This is my first update in so so long, I was shocked to see how long actually. I decided this to be less about poker and more and more about my every day life. Although I will still update about poker sometimes, it won't be the only thing I post. I plan on posting at least something every day, although I am so bad at this I probably will forget by Monday. Oh well let's get it started.

I watched the GSL finals last night, and SPOILERS ALERT. oGsMC absolutely destroyed ST_July in basically every game and only in game 3 did MC make a mistake but it was not really anything he could have avoided it was just a very good play by July to drop the main. But ya MC is such a boss, he absolutely raped and is so cocky and confident about his game, exactly what Esports needs.

JW got me into this Polly Scattergood girl I do really like her. Have also been listening to alot of random music, nothing in particular. I am in need of something new although so any suggestions would be nice.

Okay RANT TIME. I am really really... I don't even know how to explain my feelings as of late. Depressed, lonely, insecure, lonely, depressed. Ya sort of a mixture of those, I just can't get the feeling off my back that I am a waste of space and that nothing I ever achieve or do will ever satisfy me. There are so many things that make me unhappy but I think I need to work on myself before I even have the right to complain about others.

I've been watching scrubs, for mostly no apparent reason but to feel bad, I really hate the world and those who love and receive affection. I want closeness and a real passion, and yes I know that it is a stupid show with fictional story lines and over dramatic and unrealistic tales but I can't help to concede that presently I would wish for nothing more than to feel half of the compassion that is displayed in fictional bliss. I guess that that is just not in the cards for me, not anytime soon anyway.